Wanted
by LivvieAddie
Summary: A/U Mellie is tired. Tired of watching her husband love another woman. Tired of the pain. Just so very tired. So what happens when she gives up, when she finally decides to leave? Will She find love again. Someone who wants her. Crossover with Castle. OOC Mellie, based off the song Wanted by Hunter Hayes
1. Turn Your Face

**Okay I had this just pop into my mind. I love Scandal and I love Castle so I decided to put them together. It's mainly about Mellie because I love her as a character. Its going to be very angsty and emotional in the beginning and Mellie is very OOC.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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_In my memory, all the small things, like daggers in my mind_

_ In my memory, while my head bleeds, the words I'll never find _

_That I always meant to say to you I can't_

_Xx***xX_

There was something about her. The way she talked, the way she walked, the way she could turn everything around. The way she could make everyone fall at her feet without saying a word.

Mellie didn't know why she was thinking about this now. At 2 in the morning. She couldn't sleep and it was the one thing on her mind all day.

Why?

Why was Olivia Pope so special?

What made her so god damn amazing!?

"Ugh! Mellie groaned, wishing to fall asleep but her thoughts ran rampant. She sat up in bed and looked over at Fitz who was peacefully sleeping. She gets up and grabs her robe, wrapping it around herself before walking into the bathroom. She sighs and splashes a little warm water on her face hoping it would calm her thoughts but of course it did nothing.

"Damn it" Mellie curses and looks in the mirror. Her hair wild from tossing and turning. She took a few deep breaths before going back into the bedroom. She pulled back the covers accidentally revealing Fitz's huge erection. She frowned with disgust as she got in the bed and laid down attempting sleep.

"Livvie. "She hears a mumbled moan from Fitz's mouth.

"Olivia" he moans again and she feels an over whelming sadness come over her and she finally let's the tears fall. Sobs escaping her mouth as she realizes that he never loved her in the first place and that it would always be about Olivia Carolyn Pope.

_Cause you turned your face, and now I can't feel you anymore_

_ Turn your face, so now I can't see you anymore _

_Walk away until you're not standing at my door _

_Turn your face, walk away and stay_

The next morning Mellie sleeps in.

That's rare.

She sleeps until twelve which is shocking.

Especially to Fitz when he finds her curled up in bed sleeping as he enters their bedroom. He walks over to her side of the bed and tries to wake her.

"Mellie. It's time to wake up." He says softly, gently tapping her shoulder. She stirs a little in her sleep and turns over. He stares for a minute. She looked so peaceful and calm in her sleep, something he hadn't seen in a very long time.

"Mel its time to get up." Fitz said louder but still in a kind tone and he watches as her eyes open. Her dark icy blues now a soft sky blue.

"Fitz?" She mumbles as she slowly sits up. She wasn't used to Fitz waking her up.

"Yea, it was twelve and you were still asleep." Fitz said with a small smile and she rubbed her eyes.

"Oh." Was her reply as she got out of bed and put one her robe heading to the bathroom. She quickly took a shower and got ready for the rest of her day. She wore casual clothing. White slacks, a yellow blouse and a pair of yellow flats. Her hair in a pony tail. Something unusual for her as FLOTUS. As she walked through the hallways off the west wing people noticed she was different. She wasn't her usual self. She didn't smile or make compliments. She wasn't herself.

At dinner that night they ate quietly on opposite sides of the table. Fitz pondered about talking to her. He, just like everyone else, noticed a difference in Mellie. He had a feeling that it had to do with the night before.

He had woken up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Before he opens the door he hears her crying. Heart wrenching sobs muffled by the door. He felt horrible that he let it get this far. That he let her get to this point. That he let her feel this way.

_In my memory, I was hurting, long before we met,_

_ oh In my memory, there's still burning, fingerprints you left_

_ And I'll always meant to say to you I can't_

He had let the guilt cloud him the whole day. The fact that he let his wife cry her heart out in the bathroom and did absolutely

"Mel, we need to talk." Fitz said and Mellie looked up at him setting down her fork.

"About?" Mel said, her voice lost all of its spunk, all of its life.

Fitz took a deep breath before starting up his sentence.

"About last night." He said and he saw Mellie's eyes widen and her hands start to tremble.

"What about last night? We didn't do anything last night." Mellie said calmly but inside she was scared. Scared that he heard her crying. Saw her even. She went had went into the bathroom so he wouldn't hear her. So he wouldn't have to pretend he cared when he actually didn't give a damn.

"Mellie, you don't have to lie to me. I'm here for you." Fitz said and she had to fight back the tears.

"No you're not! You're not here for me. You're there for her, you're her shoulder to cry on. She doesn't hear you moan my name when your sleeping next to her or worry about you getting erections in your sleeping dreaming about me!" Mellie said loudly. She couldn't fight the tears that ran down her face.

_Each time I take you back _

_You bring one thousand cracks_

_ And I accept them, like a fool oh_

_So now what's your excuse _

_What do we have to lose_

_ Since I'm already losing you_

Fitz was shocked.

Mellie was crying.

Not just Mellie but Melanie.

Melanie was crying.

The real Melanie.

She was always so strong. No one could break her, no one could penetrate her manipulative, cold shell.

"Mellie?" He said standing up, moving to her side of the table but she stopped him.

"Don't try to pretend you care! Don't try to comfort me and tomorrow run to her. Just Don't ." She yells, venom laced in her voice. She gets up and wipes her tears from her cheeks.

"If you don't care, why pretend you do. Let's stop pretending." She says quietly before leaving the dining room.

_So hard to face,_

_that I can't feel you anymore_

_ Hard to face, _

_that I can't see you anymore _

_So walk away, _

_until you're not standing at my door _

_Turn your face, _

_walk away, _

_and stay_

_Turn your face._

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**Okay so I hope you like it so far. Leave a review and tell me what you think.**

**P.s Song: Turn you face by Little Mix**


	2. Don't Forget

**A/N) Here is the second chapter of this. I hope you like it. It goes a little deeper, some angst.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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_Did you forget That I was even alive? _

_Did you forget Everything we ever had? _

_Did you forget?_

_ Did you forget About me?_

A week later:

"Mellie?" Fitz called as he entered the residence. He found her curled up in chair, wearing sweats and a T-Shirt, reading. The one thing she loved to do most. This was a sight he hadn't seen since they were dating. As he came closer he caught the title of the book she was reading.

"Richard Castle, Naked Heat."

He smiled slightly.

He remember her being the biggest fan of the author, buying every book and reading them during her free time in college.

"Mellie" he said again and she looked up from her book.

"Yes?" She answered.

"I just wanted you to know that tomorrow I will be leaving to meet with the Prime Minister of France for the next four days." He said and she nodded.

"Okay." She replied and began reading again.

Ever since her break down last week she acted differently. She didn't dress the same, she dress casually. Simple like when she was in her twenties during college. She lost her flare when she talked, her power, her drive. A good change was that she visited the children in the nursery more often. A lot even, almost four times a day and tucked them in at bedtime. She was calmer, peaceful even but something about it threw Fitz off. He had a feeling she was planning something.

_Did you regret _

_Ever standing by my side?_

_Did you forget _

_What we were feeling inside? _

_Now I'm left to forget About us_

The next day:

After Mellie and the children said goodbye to Fitz for his trip France her plan went into full swing.

She started organizing things, packing things. She prepared and packed Karen and Jerry's things. She went through everything deciding if she wanted it or not. Photos and gifts. Corny cards he used to give her. Those made her smile. Those made her think of the time when they were truly in love. When he made her smile no matter what the joke was, when she made him laugh, when they actually cared. When he actually cared. She fought back the tears as she continued going through things, putting them in a separate suitcase. She had packed all of regular clothing and just everything essential. As she continued looking through their closet, she found an old red and black photo album. She pulled it off the shelf and sat down in chair inside the study to look at it. As soon as she opened it she was hit by the memories.

_Somewhere we went wrong_

_ We were once so strong _

_Our love is like a song _

_You can't forget it_

The first picture was of her and Fitz when they were still in college. She was out with a group of friends while Fitz was still in the Navy. She was walking back to her dorm with her best friend Jacquelyn and when she opened her door she found Fitz waiting for her with flowers and her favourite book. When she saw him she couldn't help but to run into his arms. He had been gone for so long and she had missed him more than anything and Jacquelyn took the picture. When she flipped the page she saw a picture from when they were newlyweds. They were at a family party with their parents and he kept whispering things in her ear to make her laugh and her mother caught on, taking picture. She continued to look through it, pictures of her and Fitz, some from when he was in the navy and when they were both in law school. More recent ones of Karen who was two and Jerry who was four. A sad smile on her face as she looked through. Tears finally made it down her cheeks as she closed the album and as she was putting it away a picture and a piece of paper fell out of it. She picked it up and saw Fitz's handwriting and her name at the top.

**Melanie,**

_**You mean more to me than words could ever say. You were my first love and mother of my children and I could never apologize to you enough for what I did, for how I've made you feel, for all of the pain I've caused you. I should have been there for you, I should have cared more and I will always regret that but I could never regret loving Olivia and I want you to find that person. That person who will love you the way you deserve. That love that you can't resist, the unbearable love that overwhelms you. You deserve better than me, more** __t**han me. You deserve to be happy and I want you to be happy.**_

_~**Fitz**_.

_So now I guess _

_This is where we have to stand_

_ Did you regret Ever holding my hand?_

_ Never again_

_ Please don't forget Don't forget_

She had tears pouring out of her eyes by the end of the letter. She choked back a sob as she look at the picture, it was of their fifth date and it might be cliché but the took pictures in a photo both. That was her favourite thing they ever did, before parents got involved. Before there was so much stress and pressure on them.

"Damn it!" She yelled letting it all out. Letting all of the years of fighting, and hate out. All of the pain and resentment out, realizing that Fitz didn't love her back, there was no maybe or 'he might love me.', because he just didn't. And he never would.

Why did doing the right thing hurt so bad.

_We had it all _

_We were just about to fall_

_ Even more in love _

_Than we were before_

_ I won't forget I won't forget About us_

Three days later:

"Melanie!" She heard Jacquelyn exclaim and she smiled.

"Hey Lynn." Mellie said with slight nervousness. She had called her best friend so she could escape the mess and horror that became her life.

"So how have you been?" Mellie asked her as they hugged.

"I've been fine. I have my salon now." Jacquelyn said with a smile as the embrace broke. Jaquelyn dropped out of law school within the first year and went to beauty school.

"That's amazing." Mellie smiled.

"Not as amazing as being the FLOTUS. How are you?" Lynn said.

"I've been better. A lot better actually." Mel admitted and Jacquelyn frowned.

"What happened?" Jacquelyn asked and Mellie shook her head.

"Um let's go into my study." Melanie said showing Jacquelyn the way to her study. Once they got there and took a seat, Mellie began talking.

"I'm divorcing Fitz." Mellie said calmly and Jacquelyn let out a gasp.

"What? Why?" Jacquelyn asked shocked.

"He has...he's been cheating on me." Mellie said quietly.

"Want me to kick his ass? I'd do it and wouldn't care if I got arrested." Jacquelyn said seriously and Mel let out a small laugh.

"No I just...I don't wanna go into details right now." Mellie said and Jacquelyn nodded. "But I need your help." Mellie said.

"With what?" Jacquelyn asked.

"I need you to cut my hair and dye my hair blonde." Mellie said.

"Why?!"

"Because...I'm leaving. I'm leaving D.C." Mellie said with sadness in her voice.

"Because of Fitz! You know I was serious when I said I'd kick his ass. I'll do it." Lynn said and Mellie shook her head.

"No! Its more than that. He doesn't love me any more, he loves his mistress. I'm leaving because I don't want to stay somewhere I'm not wanted." Mellie said, her voice a mixture of sadness and anger and Jacquelyn nodded, understanding but she was still shocked.

"Does Fitz know your leaving?" Jacquelyn asked and Mellie shook her head.

"No and he doesn't need to know. I'm taking Karen and Jerry and leaving. I don't want him to find us." Mellie said.

"You're taking Karen and Jerry with you? They're so young." Asked Lynn. Her friend just continued to shocked her today.

"Of course I am. I'm their mother and I love them. I will not leave them with him." Mel said.

"Does he even know your divorcing him?" Jacquelyn asked.

"No, not yet but he will. I left the papers in the bedroom on our...on his bed." Mellie said ashamed that she couldn't tell him in person, that she didn't have the strength to.

"So when are you leaving, Mellie?" Jacquelyn said upset that Fitz did this to her best friend. That he destroyed her, ruined her. Mellie looked down at her shoes, avoiding her question.

"Your leaving today, aren't you." Lynn said and Mellie nodded.

"And I need you to take me the airport and that would be last thing I ever ask of you, please Lynn" Mellie said and Lynn flashed a small smile.

"Of course I would! You are my best friend and I would do anything for you but how am I supposed to help the First Lady and her children sneak out of the White House?" Jacquelyn questioned.

"I have everything else handled." Mellie said.

"Okay, so where do we start." Jacquelyn said and Mel smiled.

About two hours later Mellie's hair was finished, cut to her neck and dyed a sandy blonde colour. She had gotten Karen and Jerry out of the nursery and changed them before they left.

"Now how are we supposed to leave here without them noticing you or Karen and Jerry?" Lynn asked.

"Because we are going to leave through a secret passage way I know that lead straight to the guess parking." Mellie said then looked down at Karen and Jerry who were both sleeping in a twin stroller and smiled. She might not have acted like the best mother but she loved her children with everything she had. They were the one thing she still had, they're her reason to keep going. Jacquelyn nodded and Mellie took one last look at the bedroom she shared with her husband, the man who had once loved her more than anything, who would have done anything for her. Who now barely cares at all. She held back the tears but also smiled as she turned off the lights and grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. This was her new beginning. She began walking towards her study. Jacquelyn followed pulling two suitcases and a backpack on her back. Mellie continued to the back wall of the study and pulled back a small hole in the wall where the door knob was hidden. She took the key to it and unlocked the door. When the door was open she set the key down on the bookshelf and led the way. Closing the door behind them as they walked down the tunnel quietly. It was a straight tunnel leading to the outside of the White House.

"See, I had everything handled." Mellie said as she opened the door to the exit and smiled as she breathed in the fresh air. Jacquelyn showed the way to her car. Once there Jacquelyn put the suitcases and stroller in the trunk. Luckily Jacquelyn also had young children and carseats in her car. After Mellie put both sleeping children in the carseats they got in and Lynn drove Mellie to the airport.

Xx***xX

Fitz had just gotten back from his trip to France and he felt horrible. All he wanted to do was see Olivia. Once he had gotten back to the White House he rushed to the residence and quickly changed not noticing any difference at all. After Fitz changed he called Tom and Hal and rushed to Olivia's. He hadn't even thought of his wife in the process. In matter of fact he hadn't thought of her the whole trip.

_But somewhere we went wrong_

_ We were once so strong _

_Our love is like a song _

_You can't forget it_

_Somewhere we went wrong_

_ We were once so strong_

_ Our love is like a song _

_You can't forget it At all_

When Mellie and Jacquelyn got to the airport, Jacquelyn got the suitcases and while Mellie got her children. Once Mellie got her bags checked Jacquelyn said goodbye and left. After going through security, Mellie pushed the stroller to the gate her flight was at.

"Boarding all passengers for flight 752 to New York City, New York." She heard over the intercom and she took a deep breath before standing up and getting in line. Luckily Jerry had woken up from his nap so she only had to hold Karen. Once her boarding pass was checked she carried Karen and held Jerry's hand as she walked down the jetway and into the airplane. Once she found their seats, she took the window seat and sat Jerry in the seat right next to her and Karen rested in her lap, who was still sleeping. Once the plane took off, she found herself looking out window, watching as Washington D.C got small and smaller. Further and further away. The place she called home wasn't home anymore.

Xx***xX

Later that night Fitz came home with a smile on his face. He got to see his Livvie. He got to make love to his one and only sweet baby. And nothing could make him happier besides his children. He walked into the west wing entering the residence. He walked straight to the nursery to find no one inside. He walked out and saw the nanny outside the door.

"Excuse me, Sarah where are Jerry and Karen?" Fitz asked.

"The First Lady had them all day, ." the nanny said with a small smile and he nods before walking into their bedroom. He decides to change first, walking into their closet and he notices something different. As he goes in further he notices some of Mellie clothes missing but only her casual clothing. Her skirt suits and heels still in the same area they had always been. He chooses to ignore it and continues changing into his sweats and Navy shirt. As he walks out of the closet he see something on their bed. It was shining in the light. He walks closer and notices the papers and cd but the thing that catches his eye was a ring.

Her ring.

Not just any ring.

Her wedding ring.

The thing that symbolizes their union was sitting on their bed. He picks it up and just holds it in his hands. Wondering why it wasn't on her finger. He was going to ask her but the top of the papers caught his attention.

Divorce Settlement.

He rushes out and enters the study to find it empty. He checked every room in the residence to find them all empty. He decided to call Cyrus to see if he knew anything.

"Hello." He heard a tired Cyrus Beene answer the phone.

"Hello Cy."

"Oh , what amazing deed did I do to get this phone call." Cy says sarcastically and Fitz ignored it.

"Did you see Mellie today?" Fitz asked.

"No, actually I didn't Sir. She stayed in the residence all day with the children." Fitz almost dropped the phone.

She was gone.

Mellie was gone.

Disappeared with their children.

She stopped pretending.

Xx***xX

_And at last _

_All the pictures have been burned _

_A__nd all the past_

_ Is just a lesson that we've learned _

_I won't forget _

_Please don't forget us_

_Somewhere we went wrong _

_Our love is like a song _

_But you won't sing along _

_You've forgotten About us_

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**A/N 2) Okay, well I hope you liked this chapter. Leave a review and tell me what you think.**

**P.s- Don't forget this is a crossover with Castle on ABC.**


	3. Goodbye

**Okay I know its been a while for both of my stories but I get writers block and get distracted and stuck so yea but I'm getting back in it and even though this update is short I'm getting there! Hope you enjoy and remember MELLIE IS OUT OF CHARACTER! Just thought I should put that in there. :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own scandal or castle.**

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"What the hell do you mean you don't know!?" Fitz yelled in the situation room.

"We don't know sir, stayed in the residence all day. The nanny said that the First Lady got the children from the nursery around four and went back in residence." One of the FLOTUS' Secret Service agents said.

"But she did have a visitor." Another staff member said.

"Do you know who this was?" Fitz asked

"Yes sir. It was a Jacquelyn O'Connor." The staff member said and Fitz sighed. He knew exactly that was. It was Mellie's best friend that had never liked him at all.

"How long was she here?" Fitz gritted through his teeth.

"For about two hours sir. From three to five." The Staff member said and Fitz sighed. He looked around the room his eyes falling on Cyrus

"Clear the room, Cy you stay." Fitz said loudly and everyone looked at each other nervously before exiting the room.

"Sir?" Cy said, looking at Fitz worriedly.

"She took them Cy, she took my children and left." Fitz said, his voice held sadness and anger. "She did this to get back at me. To hurt me."

"Sir, I know this is a really hard time for you but may I be honest?" Cyrus said.

"Go ahead, Cy. You were going to anyway." Fitz says sarcastically.

"You drove her to this point." Cyrus said and Fitz's eyes widened.

"What?! Your saying that this is my fault." Fitz yelled angrily.

"I'm saying that if you knew how to keep in your pants you would not be in this situation. She would not have taken the children and fled." Cyrus countered.

"Olivia is the love of my life, Cyrus. She is not some cheap fling. I would do anything for her!" Fitz said loudly.

"And you always made sure Mellie knew. Made sure she knew that you cared more about your mistress than her." Cy said

"Don't you ever call Olivia a mistress!" Fitz yelled standing up and Cyrus shook his head.

"This is the crap I'm taking about, sir. I love Olivia, like a daughter but she is not your wife. She is your MISTRESS!" Cyrus said "I know you love her but now your wife and children are gone. I'm not saying I take her side but you drove her to this point and now you need to step up." Cyrus finished before leaving.

Fitz stayed in the situation room a little longer before going into the residence. He entered his bedroom, looking at the DVD that sat on the bed. He hadn't touched it, he hadn't even slept in his bed. He had fell asleep in the study. He picked it up, his fingers running across his name written in her handwriting. He took it into the screening room and put it in the DVD player. He was expecting a sex tape or some type of threat or blackmail but when he pushed play he found a video of Mellie.

_"I see you actually noticed I was gone, well you probably just noticed the children were gone. I gotten used to that, you ignoring me."_ She pauses and sighs. _"I know you probably hate me now because I took the children. That your probably looking for them at this moment but I promise you they're fine. I know that doesn't mean your going to stop looking but it's reassuring."_ She smiles, a sad one.

"_I mean who would look for the evil ice queen. The heartless, manipulative bitch. If anything, you would be happy I was gone. That you could be with Olivia and live happily ever after. I know I have hurt you, so many times and I want to say sorry. For every time I had belittled you, compared you to your father, made you feel less of a man. For every horrible thing I said and did including this. Sometimes I wish we could have gone back and fixed the problems we had, are differences and that this never happened. That we didn't fall apart. You probably thought that as long as I was First Lady, that I didn't care. That it didn't matter but it did. It mattered so much"_ by the end of her sentence her eyes glistening with tears.

_"The way you looked at her just made me so angry, the way you smiled when she entered the room. The fact that I couldn't do that. I, all of sudden, wasn't good enough for you and I know we were in a dead marriage but it still made so angry that I just wanted to hurt you so bad, make you feel the pain I felt. I know that you wouldn't care if I slept around, if someone else made me happy. I gave up trying to hurt you. That would just make it worst."_ He had never seen her be so sincere, so hurt. He could say she was faking but her eyes said it all. He knew when she was faking, when she was lying, the fake tears from the real ones. Even though he rarely saw the real ones.

_"So I'm done. I'm done with the lies and acts and Olivia Pope and pretending. I used to think that it was worth, being First Lady, living in the White House but it isn't. You can tell the press whatever you like or the truth I don't care because..."_ she takes a deep breath and her lips curve into a small smile **_"I'm moving on."_ **And the screen goes black.

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**So I hope you liked it and I promise to update sooner and to all of my fans that read "The Dream She Never Dreamt" I'm working on that too. As always leave a review, they make me smile!**


	4. Grace

**I'm back gladiators! I hope you missed me. I hope you like this update.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SCANDAL.**

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_I'm on my knees _  
_Only memories_  
_Are left for me to hold_  
_**  
**_After the plane landed and started to clear out Mellie slung the backpack over her shoulders and grabbed the hands of both of her young children. Once off the airplane she went to luggage claim. After getting her bags and found the driver that would be taking her and the children to her new apartment well her old apartment. She had kept it even when her and Fitz moved to Santa Barbara. She used it as her escape from it all. She had always like New York more than California. When Mellie opened the door she smiled

"Home sweet home." She thought with a small sigh, it was exactly the same since the last time she left it which was during the campaign. She set down her suitcases and sat both of her children down on the couch. She had made sure everything was perfect weeks before. Making sure that the children's room was okay and even had someone go grocery shopping for her the day before. She wanted to start over and she wanted to do it right.

"Mommy!" She heard her son call for her, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Yes?" She responded turning her attention to Jerry.

"I'm hungry." Jerry said

"And what would you like sweetie?" She asked him.

"Peanut butter and jelly." The four-year old said replacing the 'L's in jelly with W's. Mellie went into the kitchen.

She made a sandwich for each of her children, cutting Karen' into fours. Mellie sat both of them at the table and watched Karen and Jerry eat not really feeling hungry herself. After that she felt as if the rest of the day passed her by. By the end the day she had noticed that this was the first time she had ever watched the children by herself. She had always been with Fitz or a nanny or some other family member. Mellie felt horrible, realizing how bad she had been before. How power and ambition got in the way of everything, even her own marriage and children. She realized she had become her own parents.

_Don't know how _  
_But I'll get by _  
_Slowly pull myself together_

When she tucked Karen and Jerry in at bedtime she kissed both of them on the forehead before leaving the room. Mellie went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water ignoring the bottle of wine in the cabinet.

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"Liv!" Cyrus said as Olivia approached him.

"How is he?" Liv asked

"He's drowning in scotch! He refuses to leave the oval and he just requested a second bottle." Cyrus informs her and she feels her chest tighten.

"You need to help him Liv, you're the only one that can." Cyrus says and she nods as they walk to the oval. When they got there she knocked on the door.

"Come in." She heard Fitz yell, his voice slurred. She walked in and saw Fitz at his desk, facing the window. The empty bottle sat there on his desk next to the empty glass.

"Leave the bottle on the table, Tom." Fitz slurred.

"Fitz…" Liv started and he turned around facing her. He looked an absolute mess.

"Olivia! What..what are you doing here?" He asked her.

"I...Cyrus told me that Mellie left." Olivia started not really knowing what to say.

"Oh, did he? Did he also tell you that she took our children and then he blamed me for it. Or that I blame myself too." He said, drunken anger and pain in his voice.

_There's no escape _  
_So keep me save _  
_This feels so unreal_

"Fitz... this is not your fault, she did this to hurt you and to manipulate you. She.." Liv tried to comfort but it didn't work.

"But it is! I hurt her to the point where she left, she disappeared and took the children. I was supposed to be there for her and I wasn't, I left her and forgot she was human, forgot she had feelings." Fitz admitted and Liv just stared at him speechless. She shouldn't feel hurt, she knows she has no right to but she does.

"I let her cry her heart out in the bathroom and did NOTHING. I caused that, all of it." Fitz continued, standing up.

"Fitz…You didn't know this would happen, you didn't know she would leave and you didn't know she would take Karen and Jerry. That's what she does." Olivia said. The end of her sentence accusatory.

"No!" Fitz boomed startling Olivia. "This isn't what she does. She stays and she fights! She fight for what she wants, she's an animal. She doesn't just stop and give up and leave. She didn't do it the first time, why would she do it now." Fitz said his voice slurring. He unaware of what he had just said, of what he just admitted.

_Nothing comes easily _  
_Fill this empty space _  
_Nothing is like it seems_  
_Turn my grieve to grace_

"The first time? What 'first time?" Olivia asked, her voice cracking.

"I've cheated on her before." He sighs. "When she was soft and caring, nice and sweet. I turned her into who she is now. I made her cold and manipulative. I broke her." Fitz said harshly, judging himself. His drunken state letting out his hidden feelings, his true emotions. Guilt he'd hidden and buried over the years. Olivia stood frozen in her place. His words hanging in her mind.

"I promised her I would always be there and help her and instead I made her life worst than her parents did. Messed her up more than her own family." Fitz muttered regretfully and Liv stood in place, her heart breaking in pieces.

"Fitz, you still love her." Olivia said quietly.

"What?" Fitz said shocked.

_I feel the cold _  
_Loneliness unfold_  
_Like from another world_

_Come what may _  
_I won't fade away _  
_But I know I might change_

"Just say it! You still love Mellie." She says pushing back her tears. He walked closer to her but she just moved away.

"Livvy..."

"No, don't do that. Don't 'livvy' me. Do you still love her?" Olivia asked angrily.

"I...I don't know." Fitz sighed.

"You don't know? What the hell do you mean you don't know? You know what, I should have known. I was your fucking midlife crisis, just a good fuck!" Liv yelled refusing to cry in front of him.

"I don't know how I feel about anything anymore!" Yelled Fitz picking up a glasse off the the table, throwing it and watched as it shattered against the wall. "I don't know. Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it, Liv." Fitz says tiredly.

_Nothing comes easily_  
_Fill this empty space _  
_Nothing is like it was _  
_Turn my grieve to grace_

The next day:

Mellie was awakened the next morning by both of her children climbing into her bed.

"Mommy!"  
"Mama" She heard both of her children say at the same time. She sat up and looked over at the clock seeing it was eight.

"Yes." She responds, her voice slightly tired

"We're hungry." Jerry said and Karen nodded behind him.

"Really?"

"Yup, hungy." Karen said and Mellie laughed. Her children were truly amazing and the fact that she had missed so much made her determined to make up for it.

"Okay." Mel said picking up Karen and getting out of the bed and going into the kitchen she took out a box of cheerios. She poured some dry cherrios on the tray of Karen's high chair and made Jerry a bowl. When they were done she turned on the TV and let them watch NickJr, a channel she had just found out about a week ago. Once she finished eating breakfast of her own she checked her phone and decided to call Jacquelyn.

"Mel?" She heard Lynn answer.

"Hi." Mellie responded.

"How's everything? How are Jerry and Karen? You made it safely right?" Jaquelyn fired off question over the phone.

"Glad to know you care. Yes, we made it safely and Jerry and Karen are fine." Mellie answered.

"Good. How are you feeling?" Said Jacquelyn

"I'm fine." Mellie lied

"No you're not! You may be a good liar but it can't get passed me." She said knowingly.

"I'm okay, at least I will be." Mel sais with a sigh.

"Take the kids to a park." Lynn said.

"What?"

"Take them to a park, it will distract you, trust me. I'll call you back later, there's someone at the door." Jacquelyn says.

"Okay bye." Mellie said before hanging up.

She took Jacquelyn's words into consideration and decided to take the kids to the park. She began taking things out of the suitcases before getting the children dressed. After that she got dressed herself and pulled out the stroller. Happy it was mid-spring she decided that she walk to the park that she used to go to when she was having a hard time. It wasn't far away from the apartment and perfect for Karen and Jerry. After putting both children in the twin stroller and grabbing her keys, she left the apartment and began walking to the park.

_Nothing comes easily _  
_When do I regain? _  
_Nothing can bring me peace _  
_I've lost everything _  
_I just wanna feel your embrace_

* * *

**Okay, I hope you liked it, please review because they make me smile. :)**

**P.S pm me if you read my other scandalous story "The Dream she Never Dreamt" and have any ideas on what should happen in the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, I know that this is way overdue and that it is way to short but I had a little bit of writer's block. I should have chapter six up later today because I wrote it before I wrote five. Well I hope you like it and enjoy.**

**DISCLAIMER:I DO NOT OWN SCANDAL OR CASTLE.**

* * *

After Jacquelyn got off of the phone there was a knock at the door. She got up of the couch expecting it to be her husband and answered the door to two secret service agents and the President of the United States.

"Hello Jackie." Fitz said .

"Well isn't this a surprise. What do you want?" Lynn said not intimidated by him.

"Where is she?" Fitz asked, venom in his voice attempting to take a a step closer but she stopped him.

"I wouldn't tell you. I would never hurt her like that, like EVERYONE else in her life has. I don't know where she went, she didn't tell me. Just let her start over." Jaquelyn said slamming the door in his face.

Xx***xX

Once Mellie arrived at the park she unstrapped Jerry out of the stroller and watched as he went straight to the slides. She pushed the stroller over to bench where she could sit down and see Jerry play. She turned the stroller around so she could see Karen who was content just playing with her teddy bear. It was the same teddy bear Mellie played with when she was little. When she looked back up she saw Jerry playing with a little girl with fiery red hair. For some reason the girl looked familiar but she ignored it. She looked back down at Karen and began to play peek-a-boo with her. When Mellie looked back up at the slides she couldn't see Jerry. She looked over at all the play sets and couldn't see him anywhere. She began to panic until she heard him.

"Mommy!" She turned her head and saw Jerry running over to her and the little girl he was playing with not far behind.

"Hi baby, don't run off like that. You had me worried." She said, moving some of his hair out of his face.

"I'm sowwy." Jerry said and she smiled.

"It okay. Whose your friend?" She asked.

"She's 'lexis." Jerry said.

"Hi Alexis." Mellie said kindly and the little girl waves.

"Alexis!" They heard a man call. Mellie looked over to see Richard Castle. Alexis ran over to her father and he smiled. They watched as both of their children ran back over to the playground.

"Hi. I'm ..." He said to when he looked at her.

"Richard Castle." She said out loud, not meaning to.

"You're a fan." He jokes and her cheeks turn red.

"I am. I'm Melanie." She says.

"Nice to meet you Melanie." He says with a smile.

"Nice to meet you too." Mellie responds smiling back.

* * *

**As I said before I will have chapter six up later today and it will be longer. **

**Sneak peek: Its a flashback of Mellie's childhood, and not a good one. There has to be some reason she's so mean.**


	6. Keep Breathing

**Okay as promised here is the flashback chapter for you guys**. **It has some angst in it but also some fluff. It gives a little bit more information about Mellie, well at least my fictional information! :) Hope you enjoy! **

* * *

**_The storm is coming but I don't mind_**

**_People are dying, I close my blinds_**

**_All that I know is I'm breathing now_**

* * *

_February 19, 1977. Asheville, North Carolina._

_"Just one more push, Elaine." Said her mother._

_"I don't want to." Elaine said tiredly._

_"You can, you have to. She's almost out." Her mother, Grace encouraged. Elaine took a deep breath and waited until the doctor counted to ten before she pushed one last time and heard the cries of her daughter._

_"Oh she is beautiful." Grace cooed._

_"Dad, would you like to cut the cord?" The nurse asked and he shook his head._

_"No." He said coldly._

_"Can I?" Grace asked._

_"Of course." The nurse said handing Grace the scissors and she cut the umbilical cord and the nurse took the baby to be cleaned and measured._

_"Did you guys ever decide on a name?" Grace asked both Elaine and Matthew._

_"No and we don't want to." Matthew said harshly._

_"You can't just not name your daughter." Grace said. She was beyond disappointed in her daughter and son-in-law._

_"Why don't you name her mom?" Elaine said tiredly._

_"Fine." Grace says and smiles as the nurse brings the baby back over. She attempts to hand her to Elaine but Elaine made no movement to hold her daughter._

_"I'll take her." Grace says taking the baby carefully._

_"What would you like to name her?" The doctor asked walking over to them._

_"Melanie. Melanie Amelia Cavanaugh." Grace answered._

* * *

**_I want to change the world _**

**_Instead I sleep _**

**_I want to believe in more than you and me_**

* * *

_Seven years later._

_A young Melanie rushed down the stairs as soon as she woke up. It was her 7th birthday and she couldn't have been any happier. She only wanted one thing._

_A big pink cake._

_She ran into the kitchen where her mother and older siblings were, still in her pink and purple footsie pajamas and holding her blue teddy bear she named blueberry._

_"Mommy!" She squealed and got annoyed looks from her siblings except Matt_

_"Guess what, mommy!" Mellie said excitedly to her mother with the biggest smile._

_"What Melanie!" Her mother Elaine said harshly and Mellie noticed. Her smiled dropped and she heard her sibling laugh at her._

_"It's my birthday 'member." Mellie says, still happy. Nothing could bring her down or at least she thought. Before her mother could respond the sound of her father coming down the stairs caused everyone to go quiet. The smirks on her other siblings faces gone. Her mother straightened her stance and glared at her youngest child._

_"Good morning father." Her siblings said and Mellie turned around._

_"Melanie! Why are you downstairs in your PJ's!" Matthew Cavanaugh shouted at his seven-year-old daughter._

_"I...it's my birthday and I..." Mellie started, terrified of her own father._

_"That doesn't matter! Mary, take your sister upstairs and make sure she gets dressed!" Their father yelled and Mary, her twelve-year-old sister, groaned before leaving the table and roughly grabbing Melanie's arm taking her upstairs._

**_But all that I know is I'm breathing _**

**_All I can do is keep breathing _**

**_All we can do is keep breathing now_**

_Once they got into Mellie's room, Mary went into the closet and pulled somethings out, practically throwing it at Mellie._

_"Here, put that on." Mary said annoyed._

_"Why are you so mean to me?" Mellie asked innocently as she took off her footsie pajamas and began putting on her clothes for the day._

_"I don't like you." Mary responded bluntly._

_"Why not?" Mel asked pulling her rainbow T-shirt over her head._

_"Because I don't want you here." Mary said, annoyed again._

_"Where do you want me then?" Mellie said as she got her brush and began to fix her hair. She had gotten used to her mother not wanted to help her with it._

_"Why are you asking so many questions? Just get dressed." Mary said_

_"You didn't answer my question." Mellie said._

_"I don't want you here, I don't want you anywhere. No one wants you and no one cares about you so stop asking stupid questions and do what your told!" Mary shouted at her and tears began to flood Melanie's eyes._

_"You're lying!" Mellie yelled hurt._

_"No, mom and dad wanted you to be a boy. They don't want you because you're not a boy. They don't want a stupid little girl like you." Her sister said spitefully and Mellie continued to cry. Feeling satisfied, Mary left the room with a smirk on her face. Mellie picked up her teddy bear and got back into her bed, crying herself back to sleep clutching her bear._

**_All that I know is I'm breathing _**

**_All I can do is keep breathing. _**

**_All we can do is keep breathing_**

_When she woke up again it was dark outside and her stomach growled. She crawled out of bed and carefully walked downstairs and went into the kitchen. She stood on her tip toes and turned on the light before going into the cabinet to get her cookies._

_"Mellie?" She was startled and dropped the box on the floor before turning around. In her relief it was just her older brother Matt._

_"I...just...I was hungry." She stuttered._

_"Its okay, Mel. I won't tell. Can I ask you something?" Matthew said and Mellie nodded getting the box of cookies of the floor and walking over to him._

_"Why'd you stay on your room all day, it's your birthday. You're seven now!" He said hoping to improve his youngest sister's mood._

_"No one want here so why come out." Mellie said sadly before stuffing her mouth with cookies._

_"I want you here and who told you that." Matt said._

_"Mary." She mummbled her mouth full with chocolate chip cookies._

_"Oh." He was well aware of how the restof his family felt Melanie. Everyone was so excited about a boy when his mother found out she was pregnant. They had chosen a name and colours and everything the new son was supposed to do but they found out it was a girl, their attitude changed. Their mother wanted to abort or adoption and their father was fine with it but their grandparents changed their parents minds. His mother wouldn't even name her, his grandparents had to. Even at the age if nine he understood his parents his baby sister._

_"Why do mommy and daddy hate me?" Melanie asked quietly._

_"Hey, why would you ask that. They don't hate you Mel." Matt said, kneeling down to her level._

_"Yes the do! I heard them say it." Mellie said, her voice small and sad. Tears flowing from her eyes and Matthew felt his heart break. Only him and his grandparents truly cared about her. She was only seven and didn't deserve to feel that way, espicially on her birthday. He leaned over and hugged her, wishing her pain would go away._

_"Hey, you know I did buy you a birthday present." He said and she sniffled._

_"You did?" Melanie questioned, tears still falling from her eyes._

_"I did, just let me go get it." He said wiping the tears from her eyes._

_"Can you tell me what it is?" She asked and he shook his head._

_"Its a surprise." He said and he got up and quickly went upstairs to get her presents. He knew that he would be the only one who got her something or even remembered so he made sure he got her something big. He went into his closet and pulled out a big box and a bag. He walked back downstairs and into the kitchen. Mellie's eyes widened at the sight and she ran over to him and hugged him._

_"Thank you Matt. You're the best big brother ever! I love you." She said happily with the brightest smile._

_"I love you too, Mel. I just have one more gift." Matt said. He went into the pantry and pulled out a box of cake, pink and white icing and sprinkles. He set them down on the counter in front of her and shegasped happily._

_"We're going to make that pink cake for you." Matt said._

_An hour and a half later the cake was done and cooled down so they could ice it._

_"What do want to put on it, Mel?" He asked her._

_"Both of our names!" She said happily._

_"Why my name?" He asked her as he opened a tube of pink icing._

_"Because your nice to me when no one else and you helped me make it." Melanie said._

_"You're the best little sister, you know that." He said._

_"Better than Mary?" She asked._

_"Way better than Mary." He said handing her the tube of pink icing. "Write you name on first." He said and she quickly put her name on the cake and he did the same. He got two plates and cut Mellie a piece way too big for a seven year old and a piece for himself._

_"You like it?" Mellie asked him and he looked her to see her face covered in pink icing._

_"I love it." He said and handed her a piece of paper towel to wipe her mouth. When they finished he let her open her presents. Of course she opened the big box first. She ripped off the paper and gasped at the box._

_"An easy bake oven! Thank you!" She squealed. She opened the bag and found a ton of stuff for her easy bake oven and a barbie. Once she was done hugging and thanking him he took her back upstairs and tucked her in._

_"Love you Melanie." Matthew said and he noticed she was already starting to fall asleep. He heard her mumble 'I love you' back and he left her room, happy he made her feel loved when no one else cared._

* * *

**_All we can do is keep breathing_**

**_All we can do is keep breathing _**

**_All we can do is keep breathing _**

**_All we can do is keep breathing _**

**_All we can do is keep breathing now_**

* * *

**Okay well I hope to have the next chapter up soon and I hope you liked this chapter.**


	7. Fall

**Okay, I know I'm late with this chapter but here it is! :) I hope you like it. The lyrics in this chapter are mostly for the Fitz/Olivia part of this chapter but it works.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SCANDAL.**

* * *

_I gave you all you desired_

_ All that you needed, boy I provided_

_ I let you into my head, into my bed _

_And that's a privilege_

_Xx***xX_

A week later:

"Reports say that First Lady Mellie Grant and both of the First Children have not been seen in the White House in a week." Says a reporter outside the White House.

"An inside source says that left because President Grant is having an affair." Dishes another reporter.

That what Olivia saw as she flicked through the news.

"Sir!" Cyrus says as he enters the Oval.

"What Cyrus?" Fitz says in an irritated tone, looking up from his papers.

"What are we going to do about this? There are whispers about an affair spreading around like a wildfire." Cy says angrily.

"Cyrus calm down." Fitz said and got an angry glare from Cy.

"What the hell do you mean calm down. You wife, the First Lady, is missing. Gone. Disappeared. With your children. She left and went god knows where and you're telling me to calm down. Sir, I may not know what happened between you and Mellie that led to this but I do know that if you do not find her, you will be impeached." Cyrus said.

But that's what you want isn't it? To get impeached and marry Olivia and live happily ever after but that won't happen. None of that will ever happen! You will be known at the philandering, abandoning, scumbag of a president. Your legacy will be nothing." Cyrus said livid.

_I had your backing the answers _

_You took the dollars, I took the chances _

_Defended, battled and fought _

_Cos I really thought you loved me_

Xx***xX

"Jerry, please stop running." Mellie said tiredly. All she wanted to do was go to sleep but her son would not cooperate with her. Jumping and running around everywhere.

"Why mommy?" He asked, jumping up and down. He had also found out about the word why and chose to use it at every opportunity.

"Because I'm your mommy and I said so." She said walking over to him. She picked him up and brought him over to the couch where she had his pajamas out. As soon as she set him down the jumping started up again.

"Where is daddy?" Asked the four-year-old as he continued jumping. Mellie froze after hearing the question she was dreading. She knew she would hear it but hoped it wouldn't have been so soon. Mellie took a deep breath and looked at her son who had finally stopped jumping and was looking straight at her, waiting for an answer.

I don't know where to start or where to stop, no But I know I am done, I've had enough

So fall, outta my hands, outta my heart and when you hit the ground You'll be sorry that I'm not around I'll be watching while you fall outta your mind Outta your fantasy when you hit the wall Think of me I'll be on the top just watching you fall

"Daddy just… went away for a while." Mellie said as she took off his play clothes.

"He coming home?" Jerry questioned and Mellie sighed.

"He will, sweetheart." She said, putting on his pajamas. Jerry let out a yawn and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"I sleepy, mommy." He said and Mellie laughed a little.

"I thought so." She and picked him up taking him to his room. She had put Karen to bed thirty minutes before finding it easier. She laid him down in his bed and kissed him on his forehead.

"Goodnight Jerry." She whispered.

"Love you mommy." He murmured tiredly.

"I love you too." Mellie said leaving the room before going into her own.

You said that you were the strong one I was the girl and I was the young one I kept your feet on the ground My head in the realms I had to

Xx***xX

"Olivia!" Fitz called after her when he saw her leave Cyrus' office. She just kept up walking not even slowing down. He sped up until he caught up with her grabbing her arm, pulling her into a supply closet.

"Let's talk." Fitz says and Olivia scoffs.

"What is there to talk about Fitz?" Olivia said infuriated

"Everything." He said

"Or nothing." She says

"No. You're not doing this to me again. You're not walking away again. We are working this out." Fitz says sternly.

_You told me you were so grateful _

_I was with you and I was so faithful_

_ I stood by and all that you said and all that you did _

_I loved you_

"You had believe that she was horrid, that Mellie was just an evil power-hungry person and that she didn't love you. You made yourself the victim. You lied to me about everything! It you! Not her, it has nothing to with her, it's nowhere near her fault, its all you Fitz! You are the liar and the cheater and I fell in love with you, I let you take me. I'm just another notch in your belt. I am so tired of this back and forth and all of the damn secrets. Let me go." Olivia says, the end of her sentence pleading. She just wanted this to all be over.

"Livvie, I will never do that. I love you. We can fix this." Fitz says desperately.

"But you don't. We can't fix this. You're confused and hurt. You don't know how you feel. So we're done! I'm not coming back and there's no more talking. We are done. Goodbye ". Olivia says quickly before leaving the closet. She refused to let him see her cry.

_I don't know how to act or what to say__But I know I am good, I'll be OK And you_

_Fall, outta my hands, outta my heart and when you hit the ground _

_You'll be sorry that I'm not around_

_I'll be watching while you fall outta your mind_

_ Outta your fantasy when you hit the wall_

_Think of me_

_ I'll be on the top just watching you fall _

_I'll be on the top just watching you fall_

Xx***xX

"Sir." Cyrus said but Fitz made no movement. He continued to stare out of the window, a glass of scotch in hand.

"You have a meeting with a Matthew Cavanaugh in ten minutes. It's marked as urgent would you like me to reschedule it?" Says Cy and Fitz turns around.

"No. I need to talk to him." Fitz slurred slightly.

"Who is he by the way?" Cy asked but before Fitz could respond there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" Yells Fitz and burst in the man he was planning on meeting.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?" Yelled Matthew Cavanaugh as he entered the Oval incensed.

* * *

_Fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall I want you to_

_Fall, outta my hands, outta my heart and when you hit the ground _

_You'll be sorry that I'm not around_

_ I'll be watching while you fall outta your mind _

_Outta your fantasy when you hit the wall _

_Think of me I'll be on the top just watching you fall_

Xx***xX

**Okay so I hope you enjoyed this chapter and leave a review because the make me smile. :)**

**The song: Fall by The Saturdays.**


End file.
